There are times where I wish I could treat life like a Mad Lib. I want to know exactly what will go in each empty space, and whatever story I create will be the one I go with. But sadly life is a little more difficult than “insert noun here” and “past tense verb”

Life is full of a lot of blank spaces. Sometimes we encounter just a few at a time, and other times it feels like all we have written on the page is

Once Upon a Time….”

I’ve recently entered one of the biggest transitional times of my life. I graduated from college. I moved home. I found a temporary job. I began looking for a real job. I discovered I have no friends here. I need to make friends here. I need to find ways to get plugged in. To my church. To my community.
I just need to make my life feel less temporary. Finishing college mid year has really thrown me for a loop. I feel like I should be packing up and heading back to Arkansas any day now. I have yet to accept that chapter of my life is over. I wrote the  end, when I feel like the page should say

To Be Continued…

It makes me think of a Shel Silverstein poem, where he talks about the Whatifs.

“Last night, while I lay thinking here,
Some Whatifs crawled inside my ear
And pranced and partied all night long
And sang their same old Whatif song…”

Now, my Whatifs may not sing the same tune Mr. Silverstein sang. but I frequently ask the dreaded “what if…” questions. These questions are like a poison. They seep into my brain and spoil my plans for the future my making me regret my decisions in the past.

What if I had chosen a different school to go to?

What if I had chosen a different career path?

What if I am no good at teaching?

The questions continue day in and day out. I can’t overcome the Whatifs by ignoring them. I can only win the war against the Whatifs with HowCanI’s. Instead of dwelling on Whether or not I will be a good teacher, I should focus on – How Can I improve my teaching? How can I continue to learn and grow? How can I better prepare myself now for my future?

I can’t just ask these questions. I have to act on these questions.

I can’t allow my life to be consumed by the blank spaces. Instead of waiting for the words to write themselves, I can begin to fill in the holes. I can overcome the WhatIfs and be confident in the person I am becoming, the future starting right now. I may be in a transition period, but I can choose to make the best of it.

One word at a time.