When I was a senior in college, I lived in this dirty, dungy shoebox of an apartment. Despite the stains on the carpet and the potential black mold creeping up the walls, I loved all 450 square feet of it. It was the first place that was all mine and genuinely felt like home.

The A/C didn’t always work in the bedroom, so (much to my mother’s chagrin) I often slept with my windows open. Unfortunately, while the fresh air was a welcomed friend, the screen meant to protect me from the outside world usually allowed unwanted guests to creep in. Often members of the Hymenoptera and Diptera families (aka ants and flies), I could not sleep until I knew without any shadow of a doubt that my unwanted foes had perished or were banished from the premises.

From the naked eye, the screen on my window appeared impenetrable. I could never quite figure out where the wide-open entrance was, obviously with a welcome mat and neon OPEN sign inviting every bug in a ten-mile radius to a house party I did not plan. I just knew they came in somewhere through the window.

Sometimes, anxiety creeps in as silently as these bugs. We think our mind is impenetrable, prepared for battle. Then suddenly, without warning, we are left wide open and unprepared for the onslaught of hostility in our minds.  

You aren’t good enough.

Why do you think you can do this?

You are setting yourself up for major failure.

As I sit here and wrestle with these lies, I am reminded of my little apartment. Did I leave the window open again? Fighting unwanted thoughts like this is not a one-time battle. Tonight, I am again reminded I can never let my guard down. I must daily take up my cross and put on the armor my God has provided me.

But most importantly, I must never forget I am not fighting these battles alone. Honestly, I’m not doing much fighting at all. My job is to lay each anxious thought at the feet of Jesus, wholly trusting that He is in control. Easier said than done, but when I try to fight each battle on my own, this is when I leave room for the enemy to make his move.

The truth of the situation? My Jesus has already won. I can take comfort in my living hope, knowing He is bigger and stronger than any lie that tries to take root in my mind.

I am not enough. But He is!

Why do I think I can do this? Because my God equips everyone He calls.

I’m not setting myself up for failure. I’m preparing my heart to worship my God with everything I have.

“Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests go God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Finally brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable– if there is any moral excellence and if there is anything praiseworthy– dwell on these things. Do what you have learned and received and heard from me, and seen in me, and the God of peace will be with you.”

–Philippians 4:6-9