I joined a book club.

And it couldn’t have been a timelier decision. While my excitement about being back in Tanzania hasn’t waned, the fatigue of newness is setting in. I’ve returned to the same city, the same house, the same church, while balancing new routines, new schedules, new relationships, and new responsibilities. New is both exhilarating and exhausting.

It’s easy for me to focus on what’s exhausting, take things too seriously, and overlook the small things that bring me joy each day.

I’m sure you’re thinking, “But Emma, you are a PATTERSON… that means you love to laugh!” Which is true, but how do you laugh when you feel overwhelmed?

God has a great sense of humor… In my book club, the first book we’re reading is called “Yet We Still Laugh: Stories of Humor and Hope from Women Serving Around the World.” So far, I’ve read the introduction, and I’m already being reminded that joy can be found in any season or situation.

“[Laughter] is both a medicine and a ministry… we celebrate it. Not as a distraction from the hard, but as a beautiful companion to it.”

New is scary, but when we lean into the awkward and unknown, it can lead to beautiful lessons from the most patient teacher — God. In this season, He is stretching me in ways I didn’t expect — comforting me when I feel unsettled, gently convicting me when I need to grow, and whispering truth when fear tries to take over. I don’t always listen well, and I often rely on my own pitiful “strength”. The hardest part of change is admitting that I’m weak, that I can’t do it on my own.

Change is like learning a new skill for the first time. Right now, my nephew is learning to walk. He constantly stumbles over his little feet, but does he give up? Maybe for a moment, but soon he picks himself up and tries again.

“The joy found in ridiculous moments is just as sacred as the quiet ones.”

Learning new skills means giving ourselves permission to be imperfect. In doing so, we make grace-filled mistakes, discover skills we didn’t know we possessed, and, all the while, the Holy Spirit is shaping us into the image of Christ. 

There is a tenderness in the growth process – a recognition that the road traveled can be just as beautiful as the destination. As we grow in Christ, our confidence grows that we are following God’s call.

As I turn each new page, both in my book club and in my life, I’m beginning to trust that even in the chaos of change, something good and steady is taking shape within me.

So, when my car breaks down in my driveway, when my schedule for the next month changes for the twelfth time, when I stumble over my words as I try to learn another language… I choose to laugh. I choose to see the beauty in uncertainty – the thrill of possibility, the freshness of new beginnings, and the gentle reminder that I’m not doing any of this alone. 

Thank you for walking with me on this journey.

“But that’s not all! We gladly suffer, because we know that suffering helps us to endure. ⁴ And endurance builds character, which gives us a hope ⁵ that will never disappoint us. All of this happens because God has given us the Holy Spirit, who fills our hearts with his love.” Romans 5: 3-5