This is a story of failure, a story of brokenness, and a story of God’s grace.

This is the story of a mountain.

July 2023, I and eight friends took seven days to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro in eastern Tanzania. On day one of the hike, I was more than ready to give up. We arrived at Machame Gate around nine in the morning. Thick fog and light rain created an ominous atmosphere as we anticipated our ascent. Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell serenaded us with Ain’t No Mountain High Enough as we sat in the welcome area, eating a box breakfast and waiting to complete our registration forms. We waited for nearly three hours. With each passing minute, the butterflies in my stomach grew more assertive. We hadn’t even started, and I was already asking myself, “What in the world have I gotten myself into?”

At the entrance gate, we filed single file through a security checkpoint. Two metal detectors and a baggage check stood between us and the mountain. Our team of nine Americans gathered with the four guides, three cooks, and countless porters for a brief orientation. After scanning passports, signing guestbooks, and hearing the mountain rules, we began our climb.

The first hour consisted of cement paths, Bluetooth speakers blaring every song ever written about a mountain, and so much rain. The water falling from the sky was more of a sputtering than a downpour, as the low clouds created walls of water we consistently walked through.

The rainforest was filled with divine beauty unlike anything I had seen before, but my eyes were fixated on the shoes before me as I focused on taking each new step uphill. Exhausted and out of breath from this first (8-mile) hike, I didn’t know how to manage six more days like this. One team member was sick, and I thought, this is my out. If they must go back down, I will volunteer as tribute to ensure they get to the bottom safely.

I wished failure on someone else, so I didn’t have to keep doing something hard for myself. Fortunately, that team member woke up fine the next day. While I would like to say this news made me happy, I was angry as it meant I had to continue climbing. This sudden emotion surprised me, as it was the furthest from a righteous anger. I would feel very convicted about this later in the hike.

One day in, and I already felt broken beyond repair. Feeling pushed far beyond my limits, I would soon learn how much further I could go if I made myself willing to listen. This was only the start of a journey that God intended to use to change me and prepare me for all He had in store.

To Be Continued…